For everyone who has not heard the news yet, I am leaving the blog again. There are actually a lot of reasons for my choice to do so and not just the fact that the lead blogger and I had a little argument in an AIM conversation. If I may, I’d like to take a few seconds to name a few of those reasons. But before I do that, I want to apologize to Tim for the way I acted. I should not have quit the way I did or said what I did. I was not a good reflection of Christ’s person to you and I am in all honesty sorry. Please forgive me.
The first reason I chose to quit is because I feel like I can’t live up to the intellectual expectations of this blog. Way back when my essay In Defence of Easter was published to SCAE, the other bloggers got an advanced look at the material for review. When I asked Tim what he thought of it he simply said “It’s basic.” I really took the reply to heart and I worked on that post for a very long time and thought it was the best work I could possibly do but apparently it was just “basic.” Ever since then I’ve felt like I’m just not at the level that I should be to post here and I’m sorry but if I’m just not good enough then I’m not good enough.
Second, I am forced to admit that there is a major contradiction in my beliefs that needs to be addressed and honesty compels me to as CS Lewis would put it “Get my own ship in order for the sake of the armada.” I am a Charismatic – that is to say that I believe the Holy Spirit has not been neutered as Doug Perry has so rightly put it. I believe the 1 Cor 13 gifts are still alive and active today and that the living Lord is able to perform miracles and willing to do them though his people. I think cessationism is a biblical ungrounded lie from the pit of hell. I believe these things based on personal experience but I also believe that human reason is to be exalted. I think that belief in God is reasonable and that God there are arguments and reasons to think it is more likely that there is a kind Creator (rather than a pointless vacuum) that made the heavens and the earth who created mankind in His image.
So then as far as I am able to tell, if the gifts of the spirit are still operating today and God will still preform miracles to evidence himself to people, where then do apologetics and philosophy fit in to the mix? I’m just totally lost on this one. As far as I know there is only one charismatic apologist alive today but he has admitted that he has no spiritual gifts and has never seen them operate so he really can’t be counted as anything more than another cessationalist who is a charsmatic in theory. What do I do here?
Thirdly, I am certain this is an act of God. Apart from scripture, my experience with the Lord has led me to believe He can and will still do this kind of thing. I see God’s activity in my life when my life conforms to an independent pattern of succession, to use Dembskian phrases. That is to say when things happen that parallel other things that happened on the calender I assume that it’s God’s plan that’s showing. I’m not sure if I’m expressing the concept correctly in words so allow me to give a few examples and hope that it makes sense afterwards. I met a girl who later became my best friend and who changed my life in a huge way in November of 2007. And again in November of 2009 I met a young woman who was to become my best friend and is currently changing my life in a huge way.
On Martin Luther King day of 2008 I started seeing demons and on Martin Luther King day of 2009 I got accepted into the SCAE blogging team and on Martin Luther King day of 2010 I got asked to rejoin the team after being gone for a time. In the first few days of April 2008, something I call “the removal of the masks” happened and this April, I can honestly say that my mask is off. And of course on Easter Sunday of 2009 I planned to leave the team and this Easter Sunday of 2010 I quit on a whim after a small argument with Tim.
So you see, dates are very important to me and I memorize everyone that I possibly can in order to look for these patterns and see God’s amazing providence upon all of creation. When anything reasonably (I try as hard as I can not to force my reading in to the events or to push it to where it’s just an absurd pattern) parallels anything that happened in the year of 2008 the year I first became a real Christian I automatically assume it’s the Lord’s will that these things happen and I feel that now.
There are other factors I could mention like the fact that something is very very very different in my life and I have been unable to figure out what it is but I think these are the only reasons anyone else would need to know. So it is with a somewhat conflicted heat that I wave you guys a good bye. Timothy is free to do with my contributions what he wants but I do ask that he removes my name and picture from the blog soon.
Thank you for giving me the chance to express my thoughts as best as I could.
Tags: leaving
It’s sad to see you go, Isaac. We have been through some great times on TS and in the IRC and I hope that won’t change in the future. I always enjoy reading your posts and hearing your thoughts on certain issues and the random things that you said in the chat made me laugh. With regard to the historical argument, I think you are by far more informed on the argument than Tim and me combined. I don’t mean that just to be nice, it’s true. Tim rarely if at all writes on the historical argument for a reason.
He is not as knowledgeable and isn’t confident in presenting it. Nor has he ever wrote a post as informative as you did so he is not in any position to say you’re not good enough. As for me, I am probably more ignorant than Elgoog on the matter! So I don’t think you should feel that way man. Whatever Tim said, it was probably in comparison to the professional literature which he cannot sanely expect of anyone when he hasn’t met such standards either.
The second problem could be addressed by arguing that miracles are more or less personal experiences. While this can be useful, someone could always try to use some natural excuse but of course that doesn’t make them sane. Reason, on the other hand, is true no matter WHAT that person wants to think. We could also use Craig’s distinction to help here – there’s a difference “knowing” Christianity to be true and “showing” Christianity to be true. Since we’re commanded to love God with all our mind and need to give reason for the hope that is within us, then there must be room for philosophy and apologetics.
More can be said but I’ll leave it at that. I’m not sure if leaving is the will of God but I am biased because I want you to stay! If you really feel that this is the direction you’re being called to do then I can’t complain or change your mind there. I’ll always be here to support you. God bless and thank you for blogging! You don’t know how much I appreciate it! At the very least I hope you’ll continue to read our blog and perhaps leave some comments
Gil S
Thank you Gil it’s nice to know at least one of the bloggers here cared enough about to me to — well to acknowledge my existence in all honesty.
I’m confident that I won’t missed in reality by anyone including our so called leader. I’m just not good enough for this place.
Hhahaha on the upside I’ve decided I’ll keep blogging in a place (not sure where yet). BUt I recently found a n argument that totally refutes and rapes Tim’s view on cussing.
you know he really thinks that some words are bad by nature? I wonder how he’ll respond to the argument that cuss words are used in the Bible. Isaac
Hi Isaac,
You’re farewell raises some pastoral issues. Free free to email me if you’d like to discuss these questions in confidence.
Steve Hays
hays1999@aol.com steve hays
‘As for me, I am probably more ignorant than Elgoog on the matter!’
…
Anyway, sad to see you go. Even though your posts are about biblical history, I still enjoyed reading them because lately I have been increasingly more interested in it. Although most of it is just stories, some of it is relevant in today’s history.
Keep in touch on AIM! Justin
By any chance does that one charismatic apologist that you know have the initials J & P in his name? Kendalf
Don’t know if you’re referring to JP Moreland or JP Holding there Kendal but the answer is no either way I was referring to William Land Craig. Isaac